Insights from renowned anti-bullying advocate Nicki Eyre

Anti-Bullying week takes place in the UK during the week of 11th to 15th November 2024

Workplace bullying is a pervasive issue that often flies under the radar, impacting countless individuals and causing lasting emotional and professional harm. Despite its prevalence, there remains a significant gap in understanding and addressing this problem, particularly in ways that can create meaningful change.

Nicki Eyre, founder of Conduct Change, has made it her mission to bridge that gap. Through her work as a consultant, trainer, and advocate, Eyre is pushing for a world where bullying is no longer a silent threat lurking in offices and boardrooms.

What exactly is workplace bullying?

When we think of bullying, the images that come to mind often involve direct verbal or physical aggression. But, as Nicki Eyre explains, workplace bullying can be far more insidious. It often manifests as “a pattern of behaviour, generally involving a power imbalance, that leaves individuals questioning their self-worth and job security.” Eyre emphasises that bullying can include subtle acts of exclusion and manipulation that, over time, erode an individual’s confidence and mental well-being.

While harassment linked to protected characteristics like race, sex, or disability is legally covered by the Equality Act, any bullying that falls outside these categories remains unprotected. This distinction means that countless workers facing bullying feel they have nowhere to turn. “Bullying that’s not linked to any protected characteristic is, unfortunately, unprotected under current law,” Eyre notes, underscoring the urgent need for legislative reform.

The many faces of bullying

Eyre categorises workplace bullying behaviours into three main types: physical, verbal, and psychological. Physical bullying might not always mean outright aggression; it can be as simple as a slight shoulder turn that excludes someone from a conversation. Verbal bullying can range from overt insults to indirect threats. However, it is psychological bullying—manifesting as gaslighting, exclusion, or ostracism—that often inflicts the deepest wounds.

“Isolation is absolutely key in workplace bullying because, as human beings, we have an essential need to belong,” Eyre explains. This isolation can lead individuals to doubt themselves, lose focus, and ultimately question their abilities. As the problem festers, victims may find themselves spiralling into anxiety and depression.

Nicki Eyre’s personal journey to advocacy

Eyre’s expertise in workplace bullying is both professional and deeply personal. She was once a senior professional on a clear career trajectory when she encountered bullying in her own workplace. It was a jarring experience that took her by surprise. “I was bullied out of my role, and it took me nearly six years to recover,” she recalls.

The experience left her grappling with a loss of confidence and a diminished sense of trust in workplace systems. However, rather than succumbing to bitterness, Eyre turned her experience into a catalyst for change. Her journey of recovery led her to found Conduct Change, an organisation dedicated to helping businesses and individuals understand and combat workplace bullying.

A gendered issue

Although anyone can be a victim, research consistently shows that women are more likely to face bullying than men, with unique forms of bullying often directed at them. For instance, women are frequently subject to emotional manipulation and tactics like gaslighting, which undermine their self-esteem and credibility.

Eyre points to a study from the International Bar Association, which revealed that 50% of women compared to a third of men reported bullying, harassment, or discrimination. “The problem of bullying is compounded by the fact that men are less likely to report their experiences,” Eyre notes. For many, the lingering stigma around bullying, especially in male-dominated environments, discourages them from speaking up.

The long road to legal reform

With no legal definition of bullying in UK law, Eyre has channelled her efforts into advocating for legislative change. Through her initiative Stop Hurt at Work, she has partnered with legal experts to propose a bill that would provide stronger protections for those facing bullying from day one of their employment. As a result of their combined efforts the Bullying and Respect at Work Bill was introduced to the House of Commons in 2023 with the support of MP Rachel Maskell.

The bill aims to give employees the right to file complaints about bullying without needing to prove discrimination under the Equality Act, allowing cases to be brought directly to tribunals. “We’re pushing for a legal definition of bullying so that victims can seek justice from day one,” Eyre explains, passionately advocating for a fairer, more inclusive workplace environment.  The Bill is still a work in progress, thanks to the transition in government, but the lobbying continues.

Practical advice for dealing with workplace bullying

Eyre’s mission is not only to reform laws but also to empower individuals with tools to protect themselves. She advises that anyone experiencing bullying should prioritise their health and well-being above all else. According to Eyre, the toll of going through formal complaints processes can sometimes be as damaging as the bullying itself. For those unable to find a supportive response within their organisation, Eyre believes that “walking away is a valid choice and there’s no shame in it.”

For those who choose to remain and fight, Eyre suggests keeping meticulous records. Documenting incidents not only provides clarity but also helps individuals see patterns they might have missed. Finally, she underscores the importance of finding a trusted sounding board, someone who can offer a non-judgmental ear. “Get a sense check from someone you trust,” she says. “You don’t need someone who will just tell you it’s terrible; you need someone who can offer perspective.”

The role of mentoring in navigating workplace challenges

Mentoring can be a vital lifeline for those facing workplace bullying, offering guidance and support during challenging times. Nicki Eyre emphasises the importance of having someone to turn to, whether inside or outside the organisation, who can provide both a listening ear and practical advice. “When I was going through my experience, I had non-executives I could speak to. They were fantastic because they were external yet understood the organisation,” she shares. Eyre found that mentoring not only helped her navigate the immediate challenges but also played a crucial role in rebuilding her confidence and redefining her career path.

Reflecting on her post-bullying journey, Eyre credits a mentoring group with giving her the support needed to transition from a sole trader to a business owner. By sharing experiences and insights with others, she gained clarity on her goals and identified areas for growth. “A support network is so important,” she says, underscoring the power of mentorship in fostering resilience and empowering individuals to take control of their careers.

Creating a culture of respect

Eyre believes that true change requires more than just individual resilience. It involves building a workplace culture that actively discourages bullying by promoting respect and accountability. Eyre advocates for training managers not only to evaluate performance but also to monitor conduct, cultivating an environment where behaviours are addressed early on.

In Eyre’s view, leadership plays a crucial role in setting the tone for a respectful workplace. By establishing clear behavioural expectations and encouraging open dialogue, organisations can prevent bullying from taking root. “When things go wrong, intervene early,” she advises. For situations that have escalated, Eyre encourages the use of external mediators to resolve conflicts impartially.

A Call to Action

Nicki Eyre’s story and insights are a reminder that workplace bullying is not just an individual issue; it’s a systemic problem that requires a collective solution. By understanding the nuances of bullying and advocating for stronger protections, Eyre is paving the way for workplaces that value respect and accountability.

As Eyre continues her work to push for legislative reform and education of organisations, her message is clear: workplace bullying should no longer be ignored, excused, or tolerated. With her blend of personal experience and professional expertise, Eyre is a powerful advocate, helping to build a world where workplaces are safe, inclusive, and fair for everyone.

Nicki’s story also resonates as a testament to the power of mentoring, providing a pathway not only for recovery but for growth. This cuts to the heart of Lumin’s mission: by building connections for mentoring and knowledge sharing across generations and professional backgrounds, we hope to help everyone progress on the journey towards a healthier, more inclusive workplace.